I was a kid. What did I know?

In reviewing the pee-in-the-Snapple-bottle incident, I have realized that I don't have any "stupid things I've done" stories. If I do, they are so repressed that only a very good shrink could jar them loose. However, there is one quick story in my past that gives people a chuckle so I figured I'd share (and it's not vomit inducing, so everyone relax).

I think I was in fourth grade, so I must have been about 9 or 10 years old. I don't remember much about the day, just this brief moment when my mother yelled down the hall to me "Kathie, go in the kitchen and get me a phillips screwdriver." So being the helpful daughter that I am, I head right to the "tool drawer" in the kitchen, squat down and start sifting around for the screwdriver. I probably looked for a not even a minute, and I see some screwdrivers but not what I thought she wanted. I stand back up and yell back down the hall to her "Mom! I don't see any Phillips! I only see Stanley!!"

A short pause then just raging laughter fills the house. I'm standing in the kitchen looking extremely confused. What was so funny? I just reported back my findings. Finally, Mom comes into the kitchen with tears streaming down her face, short of breath because the laughter has barely subsided. When she calms down, she explains the whole phillips head vs flat head screwdrivers. How was I supposed to know? I was freakin' 10! I find the humor in the story now, but back then, not a chance.

Fastforward to being 25 years old, playing summer softball in North Syracuse with a small fan club on the bleachers. I am standing on the mound, getting ready to wind up for a pitch, and this loud, bellowing laughter came from Lori Signor (sp?), and those of you that know Lori's laugh know what I heard as I was trying to pitch. So after I made it through the inning, I head to the bleachers to find out what the heck was going on. Mom had given up the Stanley story to Lori and the others in the crowd who all got a kick out of it. I hadn't heard the story in a while, so it was amusing after I got over the initial embarrassment of new people hearing of my ignorance.

The Stanley tale has a better chance than the Snapple bottle night of getting a commercial deal, in my opinion; but I am not ready to go National via a more popular medium.